Vellamo
by OriginalPippie
Summary: This is a sequel to My Name is Brandi. After a suggestion I reread that story and something stood out to me. I remembered that I originally planned on exploring that part further. So here is the end product of that.


It should have been the strangest thing in the world to me but it wasn't. I should have been knocked off of my ass after hearing it, but I wasn't. The truth is I understood what Bam had told me perfectly. I just couldn't tell him that I did or why I did. He explained everything to me about the big secret that he, or rather she, had been keeping from everyone for almost his entire life. (I shouldn't refer to Bam as a "he" but I've just been so used to it for so long.) The whole time that I knew Bam I believed that _she_ was a guy. That's what she wanted me to believe. That's what she wanted everyone to believe. And I knew about it all too well.

Bam told me that she had been taking hormone pills ever since she was 4 years old. The pills caused her to be more like a guy instead of the girl that she was born as. After explaining it all to me Bam looked at me like she expected me to have more of a response than I did. Maybe she expected me to start laughing at her or to call her crazy or something. But that was the last thing that I would have done. Bam began to explain the whole story about the experiment her parents got her involved with and I began to reminisce.

I was little, only about 4 years old at the time, when my parents flew with me to America from Finland. I didn't know what was going on or why we were going to America but at the time I didn't care. At one point when we were riding in a cab somewhere I overheard my parents saying something about an experiment and how this would be the first year of the experiment. I had absolutely no clue what they were talking about so I just stared out the window of the cab.

The doctor that was conducting this experiment talked to my parents for a while. I remember being so bored that I sat on the floor for a while just picking at the carpet. The doctor then tried to explain to me about the pills that I would be taking and what they would do to my body but at that point I hadn't learned English yet so I had no idea what the doctor was telling me. When my parents and I were back in our hotel room they told me everything that the doctor tried telling me. I was so horrified over what I heard that I started crying then and there.

The last thing that I wanted was to be a boy. I hated boys back then. But my parents encouraged me to go through with this experiment, making it sound really exciting and whatever. At first I reluctantly went along with it but after a while I just got so used to taking the pills every day that it didn't even faze me. The thing I didn't really care for was pretending to be something that I wasn't just to fool people. I had to tell people I was a boy, act like a boy, and go by a boy's name. As I got older, though, it all got easier for me. Especially once I discovered that I was bisexual. That way I could date whoever I wanted; guy or girl, and no one would even blink at it. But I had a little trouble trying not to get too intimate with certain people just so I wouldn't have to expose my secret.

The experiment that my parents had put me through was the very same experiment that Bam's parents had put her through all those years ago. It turned out that Bam and I had more in common with each other than we had ever imagined. It was almost as though we were supposed to have met. I was very relieved to have learned that Bam had gone through this experiment because now I was able to discuss certain things with Bam that I wouldn't be able to discuss with any one else. But the problem was, right when Bam told me about this, everything about the pills she had been taking and all the lies she had to tell everyone and act as though she was in fact a man, I felt like I had to keep my secret even more. I had no idea why I felt that way other than I was scared. Why was I scared? I really don't know. All I knew was I had the chance right then to tell Bam that I had been keeping the same exact secret my whole life but I didn't take that chance to tell her.

Quite some time had gone by since Bam told me about the hormone pills that she had been taking. HIM was on tour in America with a few stops in New York so I decided to pay a visit to Bam for a few days. Bam was actually about six months pregnant at the time. I have to admit she did look cute with the pregnant belly that she was sporting. Raab always looked real proud to be around Bam; always patting and rubbing Bam's stomach and talking to it. That was the most adorable thing to witness.

One day I was rummaging through my bag I had with me, looking for the tampons that I had packed. I was almost out and I knew that I would need to borrow some from Bam. I never felt more awkward in my life knowing that I had to ask Bam where she kept her tampons. I couldn't ask Bam at all so I just rushed into the bathroom and started going through things. I started cussing and making a mess as I went through the cupboards and cabinet. Apparently that since Bam had been pregnant she wasn't buying tampons. I sat on the edge of the tub, beginning to cramp up and feeling like I could start crying at any second. I really despise still having to go through periods while on these pills.

Bam stood in the doorway of the bathroom and looked in while I sat on the tub, leaning forward and holding my stomach. I jumped a little when I looked up and saw her there. She of course asked me what was going on. At first I couldn't tell her. I couldn't even speak. But I gave in and just told her that I was looking for tampons but couldn't find any. She was a little stunned at first but then she sat next to me on the tub. I looked at her and then I began to explain but she stopped me part way. She told me that I didn't have to explain any more and then she wrapped her arms around my shoulders, pulling me into a hug. She asked me why I hadn't of told her sooner that I had been taking the same hormone pills. I still haven't come up with a real reason why I hadn't.

"So… your real name is…"  
"Vellamo. That's the name I had for the first four years of my life. Shortly after starting this experiment I became Ville. That was like the closest male name to my real name."  
"The same with Brandi and Brandon." Bam gave a little nod "Dude this is so… bizarre that the two of us would go through the same exact thing and not realize it until now."  
"Tell me about it."  
"You should have told me when I was telling you about it."  
"I know. I'm sorry I didn't."  
"Ok so… Vellamo Vallo." She smirked a little "We've been taking the same pills pretty much our whole lives, but some reason I turned out to appear much more masculine than you did. And technically you've been taking the pills longer than I have since you're older than me. How come you're much more feminine looking?"  
"I don't know. Just how the pills affected my body I guess. Plus you know European men tend to be more feminine than American men any way."  
"I guess that's true."  
"The thing with me that the pills affected the most was, well they caused my voice to deepen a lot, obviously, I can grow facial hair, and I don't have any breasts."  
"You still get your period like me."  
"Yeah I do and it fucking sucks. I get the worst fucking cramps ever… well you know what it's like." I snickered a little  
"Heh yeah I do. Do you know if you can get pregnant?"  
"I actually don't know. I've been told my whole life that I'm not able to but then look at you. When are you due any way?"  
Bam placed a hand on her stomach "In mid-May. This pregnancy had gone by so fast."  
"Do you know what you're having?"  
"No. April thinks for sure that I'm having a boy though."  
"What do you hope you're having?"  
"I really don't know. I'll be fine with either."

The two of us talked about her expected baby for a little while. She told me what she and Raab had in mind for the baby's room decoration wise. Glomb and Seth were going to come over within the next month or so to start working on the room. Bam told me that she and Raab haven't really been thinking about names yet. They have a bunch of names that they might pick from but she wants to wait until the baby's born and just decide then what to name it. She also told me about certain things that she had been going through during her pregnancy. Some things that she said to me made me not want to have to go through a pregnancy but on the other hand other things she said made me kind of want to have a baby. But the thing is even if I decided that I want to have a baby I don't have anyone, like she has, whom I can have a baby with.

After the baby discussion got old we began to talk more about what it had been like for us as we grew up. We shared some horrific puberty stories with each other that no one else had ever heard before. No one else would even understand the things that we've gone through. We talked about what it was like to have to constantly lie to people about who we really were. We talked about how hard it was at first to go by completely different names all of the sudden. Bam had it a little easier than I did with that part since she had been given a nickname early on in her life that stuck with her. This discussion led to something that I knew was coming and that I was dreading.

"Ville… does the rest of the band know about this?"  
I paused for a second and then took a breath. Then I looked away from her and gave my answer "No they don't. I never want them to know about this. Ever. And believe me it's been real hard for me to keep the truth from getting found out by those guys."  
"Why don't you want them to know?"  
"Bam let me ask you something. How long did it take you to finally tell your friends that you're actually a girl?"  
"Oh…" She looked down and nodded her head "Yeah I get it. It really wasn't the easiest thing in the world to break the news to them."  
"Yeah so the rest of the band isn't going to find out about this. No one else will even find out about this either. This has to stay between the two of us."  
She nodded her head again and looked at me in the eyes "Ville I promise with all my heart that I will keep your secret. It will stay with me for as long as I live."  
"Thank you so much Bam. I can't tell you how much I appreciate this."

I stood up and hugged her. Just being there in her arms made me feel secure. I was more than glad now to know that Bam and I share this secret. I really needed someone else to fully understand what I had gone through my whole life. And now that Bam knows the truth about me I am relieved. I never felt happier in my life to be around Bam.


End file.
